Buhtt sex?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
