Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize