I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
