and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
