My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
