is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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