oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
