Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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