And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
