can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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