Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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