My friends, they love my intelligence
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
