my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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