Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
