Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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