my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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