do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
