His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
