White coat. Heels.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I would fuck him just for his dog
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize