He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
