sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
