just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
