Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
