i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
