Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
