I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
