ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
