friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
