Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize