is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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