his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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