went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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