He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
