You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
