Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I smell like Dick and happiness
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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