Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
