Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I smell like Dick and happiness
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