She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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