I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize