Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize