"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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