How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
