it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
