Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
