so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
