I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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