dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
