This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
