Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
