were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
