fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
