Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
