I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
