I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
