Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
