Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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