Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who youβre talking about.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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