Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
