And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
