dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Come see our sink grown plant.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
