I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
